It is all too easy to blame yourself for isolation. Neglect, bullying, abandonment, rejection, hyper critical parents, emotionally immature family and friends and partners, your own toxicity and trauma, it can all add up to telling yourself, "I am alone because I deserve it." I have faced a lot of difficult situations, and sometimes I was the difficult one. Luckily, you don’t have to blame yourself forever.

I’ve learned a few key red flags that I use to determine how I want a relationship to go in the foreseeable future. These come from how people have treated me, and how I have treated others and had to unlearn my own toxic behaviors. Use these to stay safe and have healthy, strong relationships.